


The Ghost of You (It Keeps Me Awake)

by Kapua



Series: Just the Beating of Hearts (Flash Challenge) [7]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Angst, F/F, Flash Fic, Yennaia, with a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:08:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25914901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kapua/pseuds/Kapua
Summary: It's been years since Tissaia's death, and Yennefer still can't shake the regret of all the things she never said.Prompt fill: Stregobor sends assassins after Tissaia, and she fakes her death without telling anyone else. Years later, Yennefer finds Tissaia in Toussaint and it brings up long-buried feelings.
Relationships: Tissaia de Vries/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Series: Just the Beating of Hearts (Flash Challenge) [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878580
Comments: 17
Kudos: 79





	The Ghost of You (It Keeps Me Awake)

**Author's Note:**

> For the flash fiction challenge!

The white marble archways are beautiful, but Yennefer can't quite bring herself to appreciate them. All she can think about is how Tissaia had described the city to them during lessons, conjuring images of the castle on the hill as she described the role the city had played in various historical events.

Even now, nearly two years after Tissaia's death at the hands of Stregobor's assassins, Yennefer sometimes imagines that she can hear the other woman's voice in her head as clearly as if they were standing next to each other. The ache in her chest has never fully dissipated and she's beginning to think it never will. There was so much she still wanted with Tissaia, so many things left unsaid. 

It pains her, that the other woman died without knowing how loved she was. They'd been dancing around the feelings curled between them for what felt like a lifetime, but Yennefer had thought they had time--time to let things unfurl, time to discover each other as something more than acquaintances or even friends, time to _live_. And it had all been snatched from her without a moment's warning.

The worst part is that there _had_ been warnings, little indicators that she hadn't bothered to follow up on. The last time she'd seen Tissaia, the smaller woman had looked tired and a little nervous, but Yennefer hadn't pushed for an explanation. She wonders often, now, if it would have changed anything if she had. 

Part of her knows that Tissaia likely wouldn't have told her even if she'd asked. But it's the not knowing that worms its way deep into her heart like a shard of glass, stabbing painfully at unexpected moments.

Like now--she's in Toussaint on business, trying to sort out a minor scuffle between the vampires and the castle knights. She'd thought it would be a fast trip, maybe even a nice break from the monotony of her daily routine (and she wonders for a moment when she became the type of person to have a routine, though she knows the answer). Instead, she's been inundated with thoughts of Tissaia since the moment she crossed the threshold of the city. Something about this place is bringing memories of the other mage to the forefront of her mind, and it's making it impossible to focus on anything but her lingering grief and the desire for a person she knows she'll never be able to have.

She's walking down the main street when she happens to glance down a side alley. Time slows to a halt around her as she sees brilliant blue eyes staring at her from the shadows, but then the person whirls and disappears down the narrow passage.

"Wait!"

Yennefer runs after them. She knows it's stupid--there's no way it's Tissaia, the woman is dead--but those _eyes_. She'd know them anywhere, and so she chases the person through the alley in the hopes that maybe the impossible has happened.

The person leads her on quite the chase until they're in the catacombs of the city. Their footsteps echo in the stone tunnel, and Yennefer has finally had enough. She throws out a hand and conjures a barrier in front of the person, and they skid to a stop.

"Who are you?" she calls, willing them to turn around so she can see the face hidden beneath their hooded cloak. She just has to see with her own eyes that it's not really Tissaia and then she can let it go, mumble some apologies and get back to her life.

But then the person turns, and their hood falls back, and all of the air leaves Yennefer's lungs in a great _whoosh_ as she comes face to face with Tissaia. Because it's _her_ \--there's no doubt about that, and Yennefer stumbles forward until she's able to wrap her hands around Tissaia's upper arms to reassure herself that the woman is not a figment of her imagination. When she makes contact with warm, solid flesh, she sinks to her knees in front of Tissaia.

"Yennefer?" Tissaia kneels, looking at her with concern, and it's all Yennefer can do not to burst into tears.

"How?" she whispers, searching Tissaia's eyes with her own as she tries to comprehend what's happening.

"A ruse," Tissaia says quietly. "I was no longer of use to anyone in the face of Stregobor's fixation."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Yennefer asks, hands clenching into fists at her side. "I would have helped--gods, I thought you were _dead_ , Tissaia!"

Tissaia regards her with an expression that's somewhere between curiosity and sadness. "You still had so much to live for, besides me. I couldn't take that from you."

The knowledge that Tissaia still doesn't understand, that she thinks herself trivial even after all this time, breaks Yennefer's heart. She reaches out and grasps Tissaia's hands in her own, pulling them to her lips so she can brush a tender kiss across the knuckles. Tissaia inhales sharply at the action, and Yennefer holds her gaze as she murmurs, "I would trade the whole of the continent in a heartbeat to have you again."

She sees the moment the words sink in, Tissaia's eyelids fluttering before a tiny smile hints at the edges of her lips. The smaller woman gets up, pulling Yennefer with her, and they stand silent for a few seconds, just looking at each other and letting this new reality settle in their bones.

Tissaia breaks the quiet with a small sigh, but it's a happy sound. 

"Come on, then," she says, lacing their fingers together, "You told me once that you wanted everything, and while I can't give you that, I can at least make a decent start."

Yennefer steps closer to the smaller woman until she can rest their foreheads together and whisper the truth she's kept locked inside for so long. 

" _You_ are everything, Tissaia."

The smile Tissaia gives her in return is blinding.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Yell at me and send me prompts in the comments or on tumblr @kapuahiwahiwa :)


End file.
